Kathryn
Gold Forum Member
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I Love YaBB 2!
Posts: 341
England - Great Britain
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Thank you all for your kind reply's.
RLR I see that you were right, even though at the time it was quite hard to accept, but your words made sense and gave me the kick up the rear that I needed, I do get quite defensive (as you may have noticed in the past) but I do think about what has been said and I'm glad I did.
I still have some personal hurdles I want to get past, like being able to go for a run without fearing that I'll get a bought of weird and wonderful beats!!
But I think I have learnt to live with them, and there are some weeks I think for goodness sake why am I getting so many this week! I still get the negative thoughts but I have trained myself to counter balance them, it was a hard process identifying my negative thoughts and challenging them.
The way I see it is I spent years and years thinking the worst as so I didn't get disappointed, I also put a show on if I was disappointed as I didn't like people making a fuss, I had some major things that although at the time we're big I used to think well others have been through worse, and gradually over time it got to the point where I ended up with the anxiety disorder, so I had to accept the big issues that had happened in my life and start thinking more positively not worrying or thinking I'm a failure if I didn't get a job or didn't achieve better than someone else also that not everything was my fault! It was obviously more involved and to start with I thought this is never going to work, but it has I mean my brain is starting to make more automatic positive responses to things, where as before I'd trained myself to react negatively, so it will take a while still I think to get it to respond like that most the time. (Sorry I hope this makes sense) But through being less anxious my stomach is less sensitive, I still stick to decaf and try to make sure I eat little and often and sit when eating, but like yesterday I walked along eating a sausage sandwich so wasn't surprised when I got indigestion and a few big missed beats!
My nephew is home now, and having inhalers antibiotics and steriods and is more his usual self, apparantly he had a virus that had hit his whole body and one side of his chest was infected, which affected his airways quite severly, thank you for your support.
Kath x
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