I am so sorry, i did not mean to get anyone into trouble or anything, it is just me being oversensitive as usual. Sorry Bead.
I really appreciate all the advice and knowledge that you give to me on here, and elsewhere, and i know that you have suffered yourself and know what i am going through only too well. I always ask advice and take everyone's comments on board as they know what they are talking about. We have a lot in common and your help is very important to me and also the support that i get from you all, i really need it a lot of the time i know. Lol.
Well, i went to work again today, another 4 hours. Oh it was so very hard today. As soon as i got up i could feel the panic just lying in wait, waiting for me to stop still and take it on board. But i didn't, i got up, dressed and had breakfast and just tried my best to carry on, on, on! I got to work, hubby stayed in the car on the car park today, i was fine with this. I got in work and began my job. Oh i felt so awful, i looked at my list and it looked such a lot and so much to do. Just thought i wouldn't be able to do it at all. I took a deep breathe and started and carried on. But it started to get all to much by about 10.15am. I still carried on. I had a break about 11am and went to the car for a cuppa with my hubby. By this time the unreality was horrendous and i tried to take my mind off it and not to pay any attention to it. I got back into work and carried on, it was so very tough. I thought it would get easier the more i did it, but it seems to be getting harder more than anything else. I just feel like i can't go back, it is too much for me right now and i don't know what to do. If i carry on i am scared incase i get worse and scared that something nasty will happen to me as my body and mind just can't cope with all this.
It took about half an hour after coming out of work until the unreality had started to lessen slightly. I came home and had a bit of dinner then had to nip to the shop. That was a nightmare, looking back i don't know how i did it, so dizzy and it was awful. I got back to the car with a racing heart and a big sigh of relief!
I have had a headache today anyway, feels like sinus's, my ears are also very 'off' today too. I haven't been able to see properly out of my right eye all morning either and the pain was over and under that, so i am sure it is sinus's. Feel bunged up as well, but i haven't touched any cheese whatsoever, however i did have an egg for my tea last night, lol. Neck still sore and stiff and dizziness and floatiness today has been horrendous. I am sure it is all linked, neck, ears and sinus's. I have bought some Benadryl, but i am too scared to take it as i suffer so much with oversensitivity to any med's and i might get side effects. Chicken i know.
Well, that's the update. Day off tomorrow, thank goodness, not sure whether to get appt with gp though and get signed off again, don't think i can cope with it all after all. Thursday would be very tough anyway as i am sat at a pc for 4 hours doing a baby clinic and all that screaming and crying would really kill my ears and make me feel worse.
Evoked potential test was negative by the way and i am now going to be re referred to ENT. Struggling right now guys.x