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my mind makes me angry (Read 9687 times)
aks85
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my mind makes me angry
Oct 04th, 2011, 11:13am
 
Last week I went to the doctor over my palpitations. Yet again, he reassured me that PVC/PACs are normal, that he may even having them right then he just wasn't feeling them.

He put me on a 24 hour monitor. This is what he said:

He says my monitor was exquisite. He says he had a hard time finding any pvcs or pacs..and none of them happened when I had symptoms.

He says when I exercised my heart got up to 155 and looked great. So i'm cleared for exercise.

He says he doesn't want an echo because of how great the monitor was. He's pretty convinced that my heart is structurally normal.

He even mentioned that it's possible that my fear and obsession made my mind create these sensations that weren't happening.

I was doing great for a few days.
I was in shock that my heart looks so good, but now, I'm falling into fear again. My mind is thinking, it didn't catch any of your episodes, you need a longer monitor.

I've been waking in intense anxiety for the past week, and constantly all day my mind brings up memories of my scariest episodes with these. I've been having at least 4 panic attacks a day since the results and I am getting so tired and fearful.  :'(

I just needed to vent. Thanks.
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Sometimes, even my brain has palps
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RLR
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Re: my mind makes me angry
Reply #1 - Oct 5th, 2011, 3:47pm
 
Your statements are quite revealing of the nature of health anxiety. Like so many others, you feel compelled to place more trust in your own personal interpretations and apprehensions rather than the medical facts in evidence. It is bold indeed to suggest that your own doctor is absent the skills necessary to accurately assess you, leaving questions of whether you yourself need to get more in-depth testing and longer monitor evaluation in order to locate the problem.

The reason that your actual normal heart health shocks you is because you are misinterpreting unfamiliar physiological manifestations as symptoms of disease. When your mind begins this headlong pursuit, you need to counter it with the logic that you are not a medical doctor and you have no practical training or experience. With those facts in mind, it is impossible for you to achieve any level of accuracy in self-evaluation, much less diagnostic capacity. You have to ask yourself why none of these glaring facts concern you or in any way alter your course.

The overall theme of your posting reveals that you're doctor says you're fine but you're not buying it, with the belief that more in-depth testing is necessary.

If your symptoms abated tomorrow and never re-appeared, you'd cease your endless pursuit. It is fear that something is wrong which compels you. You believe that if symptoms persist, then there is an underlying physical cause and no other alternative. You'd be surprised to learn that physical symptoms appear routinely in the absence of underlying organic disease and if you had the practical training and experience to see it on a daily basis, you'd think differently.

You have to learn to counter irrational beliefs with logic. This is not a world where absolutely anything is possible. Science is not based on magic. There are known probabilities and you can't simply violate the laws of science and expect your perceptions to be accurate to any extent whatsoever. Yet that is what a majority of people with health anxiety practice on a daily basis. Facts of this type are undeniable and cannot simply be suppressed in favor of what compels the anxiety-stricken individual to seek.

You are healthy and both the tests and your doctor's direct assessment support this fact. What you feel to be the case is where the problem actually exists. You can have all the tests you can buy or that your insurance company will cover and the results will never be anything different than what they are now. You are entirely wrong about your suspicions and when you can confront yourself with this reality, things will begin to improve.

Best regards and Good Health
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aks85
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Re: my mind makes me angry
Reply #2 - Oct 5th, 2011, 4:11pm
 
Thank you RLR. I was feeling so defeated.

My anxiety started after my grandmother died of a heart attack. At first it was fear that I'd go out suddenly like her. But as the palpitations continued and I had some scary episodes, I've come to fear the palpitations.

I constantly have images and memories of my scariest episodes and I "what if I have an episode today" thoughts.

I now realize these thoughts and fears are irrational. It's catastrophic, what if, and future telling thought patterns. I am currently working on dispelling these thoughts and distancing myself.

I also realize the anxiety, fear, and apprehension of the palpitations as well as the constant monitoring seeing if there is one is basically MAKING me have the palpitations.

My doctor, a nurse friend, my husband, and a couple people in my anxiety support group seem to think that I've been so concerned, obsessed, and fearful of these events that my mind has made up the sensations or I have a completely wrong perception (which I have noticed several times).

I know this won't be a quick fix, it's been over a decade I've been this way. Thank you RLR, I hope to get my mind and heart to believe the medical test results soon so I can finally live the life I've wished I could have for years.
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Re: my mind makes me angry
Reply #3 - Oct 6th, 2011, 4:07pm
 
Your intense and compelling fears are the result of gross misperceptions about the underlying nature of benign palpitations. You must come to understand that these events do not originate in the heart and are therefore not a sign of a heart problem whatsoever. Furthermore, because of the actual true nature of benign palpitation events, they are entirely incapable of causing any type of cardiac event or transformation into some type of dangerous arrhythmia. It's not medically possible and yet your believe it is because you misunderstand their actual cause and potential.

Benign palpitations, in the most basic term, is the equivalent of a muscle twitch that occurs from time to time elsewhere in your body. For instance, myokymia is a very common manifestation and the term simply equates with twitching of the eyelid, a very common occurrence for people from time to time and often the result of fatigue, stress or anxiety. Well the exact same premise is true for benign palpitations with the exception that the heart muscle is twitching or responding to wayward innervation by the vagus nerve. Due to the dynamic nature of the heart, these twitches result in paroxysmal or irregular contraction of either the atria or the ventricles and the response by one or the other is entirely dependent upon precisely when the evoked potential, or nerve impulse, enters the tissues during the cardiac cycle.

You must combat your fears with undeniable logic. Your health and physiology does not exist in a world where absolutely anything is possible. Humans are biological organisms with known characteristics and patterns of life which do not yield to boundless speculation as to their ability to transform from these known parameters. It's no different than any other belief system which can, in some instances, guide your daily patterns of life. Simply because many people give way to these beliefs does not give them validity. Do you understand? When people establish beliefs, they can sometimes be based upon inaccurate information that is derived by way of cause & effect thinking strategies.

This type of pattern is the very same origin from which superstitions arise and become quite formidable in the lives of some persons. It is a compelling internal sensation that an actual connection exists between events simply by virtue of their proximity in time. In ancient times, this sort of pattern guided many cultures and we still see it in existence today. For instance, if people of a native village act out of context to their social order and the eruption of a volcano occurs within close proximity in time period, it is human nature in persons who lack a more sophisticated knowledge about volcanos as part of naturally occurring events, to immediately interpret a connection as though their contrary actions or thoughts actually influenced the onset of the volcanic eruption. As as result, consensus can be derived by virtue of fearful consequences, i.e. risk of death, that can influence sometimes entire cultures to act or behave in a certain manner to avoid reprisal.

Now that's a fairly simplistic example, but one that is very real and it's place here simply illustrates the commonality of establishing life patterns based upon beliefs that are both irrational and inaccurate. The person generally affected by benign palpitations does not possess a background in medicine and therefore, they can only apply what information they know in their estimation to be relevant.

It's also critical that you realize the all-oowerful influence of human nature from a biological standpoint. Realize that all animals, humans included, possess basic survival instincts which come to bear upon any event which is construed to represent a threat to one's life. For many persons suffering benign palpitations, this is the hallmark of underlying concern and therefore, produces variable but relentless underlying concerns that their life, their survival, is at risk. Well the brain takes that sort of interpretation very seriously and it responds innately to identify the fear, assess its potential and take steps to prevent it, all of which occurs in a manner that causes the individual to feel such influences as very natural. Indeed they are. They are instinctual and it is this gut instinct which causes the circumstances to seem so compelling in nature, i.e. continuous testing and seeking despite what the test results reveal. In other words, as long as the fear exists, no matter how much it is repressed, the brain will continue to persist and compel the individual to overcome it or alternatively create distance to the extent that safety is restored.

That's the plateau where most persons who seek out this forum exist upon and it takes a good deal of determination and realization of the true facts in order to reverse the process which was originally initiated.

Here's how that process typically arises. A person experiences or is exposed to a significant life event. The perception of that event, if significant enough, can challenge the self-confidence and individual security to the extent that vulnerability arises, whether subtle or overt in nature. This type of emotional experience is more often than not enduring and the resulting stress begins to impart changes in physiology. This transformation is often recognized as mere situational stress and no direct correlation is perceived between the particular life circumstances and its impact on the body from a physical standpoint.

Because of its extended nature, physiological manifestations which arise are almost universally misinterpreted as symptoms of medical illness or disease. Unlike most of these manifestations, the onset of vagus nerve-induced palpitation events gain fast attention by the individual and because it's related to their heart, the immediate impression causes fear of that special type we previously spoke about.


CONTINUED BELOW
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Re: my mind makes me angry
Reply #4 - Oct 6th, 2011, 4:46pm
 
CONTINUED FROM ABOVE

So now the individual has experienced a previously unknown phenomenon which further challenges their sense of confidence and security, in fact the immediate thought is one that produces fear of catastrophic event or death. You need to understand that when this kind of precise thought is generated, the brain takes over because it's genetically programmed to instinctively afford you the best possible chance for survival.

The first order of business is to identify the threat. The brain strives to make sense of the event and draws upon whatever knowledge and experiencial data is available. With respect to palpitation events, for most people it is identified as warning signs of an impending heart attack. This impression causes the person to seek prompt medical attention and with the intent of having their heart fully examined for signs of the problem that needs to be corrected in order for the brain to restore the presence of safety and security.

The problem here becomes multi-fold because medical diagnostic test equipment is driven by algorithms of disease known to be responsible for heart problems and disease. So we have an individual who interprets a heart problem and seeking to identify the cause by means of diagnostic equipment that can only detect true disease. WHen the test turns up negative, as it always does in such instances, the result constitutes absolutely nothing in the way of restorative influence that promotes safety and security once again. Thus, the brain persists in compelling the identity of the threat which the individual continues to believe is imminent because the symptoms, or palpitations in this instance, persist and remain ominous.

So begins the journey to relentlessly seek out the identity and cause for the palpitations as a life-threatening premise. Test after test is performed, the next more invasive than the last because the compelling urge insists that the threat is real and remains imminent. It is this compelling drive which people don't recognize as the predominant nature and genetic predisposition for survival. People experiencing the phenomenon simply have an underlying urge and fear that causes them to seek medical attention for the purpose of abating the threat, a consequence that is ironically impossible to achieve because benign palpitations are not induced by organic disease which the test equipment is designed to recognize.

You might well imagine that the inability for the perceived threat to be clinically identified only serves to drive the individual to greater lengths in restoring safety to their life and subsequently, their self-confidene. It is an unbridled pursuit of a threat which doesn't actually exist and yet causes the brain to act instinctively. Indeed, the brain is unable to distinguish threats which are real and tangible from those that are derived through inaccurate perceptions or beliefs. Survival is paramount and the brain responds identically in all such instances.

In order to reverse what has manifested, you must realize what has actually taken place to cause of of the inconsistencies in this regard to take place and persist despite best efforts to ignore or self-distract as  ineffective means to prevent its influence. You must recognize and accept facts about your health which directly contradict what you believe by way of cause & effect thinking. You must permit the logic of reality to be reinstated in your life as it once was in order for the brain to recognize that your life is not in danger. Realize that the brain operates with the environment based upon feedback that your senses and cognitive awareness provide. If you believe your life is to any extent in danger as a result of the palpitation events, then your brain is going to instinctively remain engaged and vigilant to procuring your safety.

A relentless cycle is formulated whereby the individual remains fearful because of persisting symptoms and maintains a posture of fear, subsequently providing feedback to the brain that survival is under challenge and at risk, causing increased vigilance to uncover the underlying physical cause as perceived by the individual, despite all tests results which speak to the contrary. Negative test results offer no influence and only stir mistrust of the outcome by comparison to what the individual perceives to be the case.

To the individual caught in this cycle, the tests become insensitive and inaccurate. The problem evades detection and indeed, palpitations will often fade upon arrival to the doctor's office or hospital because the influences which actually underlie their true nature are altered. The patient can only muster frustration that the events are "hiding" from detection. The improbability of such a contention never crosses their mind and they actually believe it part of the characterization of the problem as though heart disease has awareness of its surroundings.

In order to regain the life you held prior to the onset of the difficulties now being encountered, you must force the break from misperceptions and face reality concerning the palpitation events and your health in general. Only by truly understanding the undeniable facts can you use this information in substitution for the present and inaccurate, irrational belief. You must acknowledge and accept that the reactions created by the brain are stemming from projections that you have unwittingly created in error by virtue of insufficient knowledge regarding the nature of the actual underlying problem.

When you can face yourself and realize that you are in error and have been since the onset, you can then start the process of reversing what has essentially altered your lifestyle. When I speak to such extent, it is through direct experience with thousands of persons just like yourself who at one time came to see me as patients, all suffering the identical patterns and yet not one of them had any actual underlying disease.

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Re: my mind makes me angry
Reply #5 - Oct 6th, 2011, 5:10pm
 
It is the recognition that you have established an illusion by which the brain has taken continual action on your behalf to restore safety and security. You must realize that the brain performs functions continuously in the absence of your direct cognitive influence and it is this innate function which people are unable to distinguish from elective thought.

In other words, it's not simply your brain's automatic response to the fear which generates the constant pursuit of the answer, but merely that it's your own necessary intent. Doesn't the mounting inconsistency between your steadfast beliefs and all of the doctors and tests you've undergone that produce nothing but negative results disturb you? Doesn't it even further compound this inconsistency that you rationalize all of the evidence to be inaccurate or insignificant? Doesn't your approach to the entire matter seem inconsistent with the reality-based approach you use in most any other premise?

You must realize that the judgment system you are using to evaluate the circumstances is under the influence of the brain. In other words, it's biased and not performing in the mode that you used to be able to rely upon from the context of feeling safe and secure. The brain is acting on fear that you have established which is inaccurate in all aspects. Your judgement and ability to see the truth is marred by an internal system which does not utilize analytical ability, but purely the instinctual mechanisms to survive. In doing so, you remain highly vigilant to your heart's performance and health in general because that's the realm from where the threat is perceived. You restrict your life to only reaches which have a portal of safety nearby. You constantly scour the internet in search of the answer which occludes your judgement and ability to discern the impracticality of your actions and their existence within a state that is unreal and based entirely upon misinterpretation.

You must be able to simply recognize and internalize facts as they truly exist, as all the tests and experts are providing and let go of your vigilance to survive a threat which does not exist in any form. You must let go because the brain needs to know that you made a mistake and that no threat to your survival actually exists. You must admit that you're wrong and the presence of the palpitations does not confirm the presence of a problem at all, but merely a consequence arising from life circumstances that affect millions of people just like yourself.

Now this is the real premise for what underlies your difficulty. It's not opinion. It's fact. It is the reality which exists where you need to return to and get on with your life. Nothing is going to happen to you because nothing is wrong. That's the bottom line. You must choose to live in reality or persist in self-deception, the nature of which has imprisoned you for far longer than you ever anticipated. You are the only one who is preventing a return to your life. It is a life of safety and a life of security. It is not a perfect life, for that exists for no one. We all have aches and pains, knocks and rumbles, a skip here and there, but we're human. It's normal to be abnormal.

So you need to start waking up and seizing the day because all of you only get to go around on this big old ball called earth but once. Make the very most of it. You all have long lives ahead of you so get busy restoring your perspectives and be unafraid. Life is far more difficult to extinguish or be placed in peril than you presently believe.

It will, at some point, be time for me to go. You must reach the point of understanding that my discourse has provided you so that you can re-take your lives and enjoy them as much as I have with my own.

Best regards,


Rutheford Rane, MD (ret.)
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aks85
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Re: my mind makes me angry
Reply #6 - Oct 6th, 2011, 6:22pm
 
Oh wow. Dr. Rane. Thank you.

I truly am working on my beliefs and what you've said has truly fallen in direct line with what I'm trying to do and I will continuously refer back to this.
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Sometimes, even my brain has palps
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