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Heart Palpitations Forum
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Dear RLR and fellow members, I hope I'm not breaking any forum rules by repeating my query, but it appears that I was unlucky to post my original question during the period when RLR was away from the forum, and as you all may imagine, I am a bit anxious (pardon the pun) for any opinion and advice. here's my original post:
I will try to be as concise as possible, but do forgive me if I give you too much unnecessary information on my problem which will probably happen since I have had it in one form or another for over 14 years now, and it's currently causing me a lot of grief. I will treasure any sort of insight or advice regarding it!
I am a 31-year-old female who has been suffering with anxiety most of her life. There are numerous factors I'm aware of that have contributed it to it, but I have never been diagnosed with any other mental or physical disorder other than anxiety. I'm quite fit, I do light exercise regularly, eat healthily, have no family history of serious illnesses, but - due to both unfortunate circumstances and my proneness to anxiety - I always feel worried about something. I had regular psychotherapy from 2002 to 2008 which helped me a lot for a while, but having been unable to resolve all of the issues that cause it, it has always kept coming back, and the main symptoms have always been palpitations.
I developed a horrible fear, and I may even say - an obsession - with my heart and the idea of it causing my sudden death after several months of severe tachycardias I experienced for almost a year in 1998. They started out of the blue one evening and continued daily. Even the lightest physical strain like raising my arms to play volleyball or climbing stairs or walking briskly would cause my heart to go into an overdrive. My fear seemingly dissipated after I underwent all sorts of heart/virus/lung/thyroid medical tests and no cause was found. Also, I was in high-school and had to keep on with my daily schedule. The tachycardias faded and eventually disappeared after a year, but the panic attacks and agoraphobia started soon afterwards and, eventually, in 2005, heart palpitations made a comeback, but this time they had nothing to do with physical exertion, this time they were a result of anxiety. I had my ups and downs, however I always managed to somehow pick myself up, alleviate the fear and keep on trudging. I had my heart tested ever couple of years or so (ECGs, ultrasound, halter...) and always got an all clear.
But a year ago, life circumstances pushed me into even more sever anxiety. I started triggering palpitations/tachycardia at will! I am completely unable to control the utter terror caused by the thought that I may kill myself by accelerating my heart rhythm, which I do whenever I'm alone or with somebody who is not aware of my anxiety problem, and therefore can't help me calm down. I stopped leaving the house alone altogether because, as soon as I'd be left alone in the street, I'd give myself tachycardia and couldn't even enter a bus/taxi alone. Someone accompanies me wherever I go! Even to work! The situation is so crippling and insufferable that I seeked a psychiatric help again, and was given 10mg of Cipralex. The doctor calmed me down a bit, but I was unable to continue working with her because she insisted on my coming to her office alone which I am unable to do since the one time I tried it, I barely made it 500 meters from my home when the terror got the best of me and my heart started doing flip-flops (missing beats? I don't have a clue, but it's horrible) and I was certain I was about to drop dead. They probably lasted less than a minute, and I eventually managed to get back home, but I have never been able to leave it again unaccompanied.
I do realise that I need to find another psychiatrist because this situation is unbearable, but since this forum deals with heart palpitations exclusively, and they are my biggest and insurmountable obstacle at the moment, I was wondering if someone could give me any sort of advice which would help me tackle this problem. Has anyone had something similar? Is my fear justified - can I really give myself a heart attack this way or can I simply get out of the house on my own, weather the palpitations and keep going?
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I have an additional question as well. There was an incident a couple of years ago that differs from all my other experiences with panic, anxiety and palpitations, and as such, keeps worrying me to this day, especially since I keep reading that no, one canNOT faint during a panic attack. What happened is that I was sitting on a chair, minding my own business but feeling a little anxious as usual. I checked my pulse (on my neck) to calm myself (as I obsessively do) and couldn't find any pulse, then felt a wild thump followed by more complete silence (lack of pulse??) and for the first (and so far only) time, I started fainting. Blacking out, feeling a funny taste in my mouth, losing my hearing. I immediately lay on the floor and called my sister, but even upon lying down, I still kept losing the consciousness. I have no idea how long it lasted, must have been 5 minutes at least, but I never lost consciousness completely, I recovered, stood up and felt completely normal apart from being scared to death. Is there any explanation for what happened to me? Has anyone experienced something similar? Even though I had my heart examined even after this occurrence, I just can't let go of this until I understand what it was that happened.
I apologise for the length and repetition, but receiving an answer would mean a world to me.
Kind regards,
Zoya
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