angiebaby
Gold Forum Member
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Posts: 261
england
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Hi Bead, so sorry that you are feeling this way again, believe me i know how you feel!! I am still like that now and am supposed to be going for benign positional vertigo tests in just over a week and i really don't think that i can go and do it. I will be bad afterwards and i don't want that, i am bad enough now thankyou. I have weighed up the pro's and con's and what would i get out of it, if it is there is no cure anyway. I know that when i took the SSRI Seroxat i was ill and i felt like i feel now when i was on them, but now i take nothing and there is no improvement anyway so can't see it being that really. I am just trying to do my best right now to 'believe' that mine is just down to anxiety and nothing more. I am hoping that acceptance will help me to improve. It is so very hard to believe that anxiety can do this to you and cause all of this and accept that it is like your brain is attacking it's own body and system really in a way. I don't think i will get anywhere until i accept that this is a mental problem for me and not a physical one, but i am trying every single moment to help myself in this way. You have been doing so very well lately Bead, you are an inspiration to me as i know when we have spoke on here before that we have shared quite a few symptoms between us. I could never do what you have been achieving just recently, i just manage to plod along, sorry but best i can do right now. I am wondering if somewhere deep inside our brain knows that we 'know' really what is doing this and this is why sometimes we get a good day. I can honestly say that since i became ill, three years ago, i had never had a good day until last week. It only lasted for the day, so the next day felt much worse of course, but i have to learn to focus on the positive's too and look at it like i have had one good day and i will have more. A bad day is just a blip and it will get better, this is very hard to me to believe for myself, but i still try. Dizziness is such a bizarre and crippling thing isn't it? Somedays i can hardly stand and i have still managed to go to work, doing less hours now though for a while, every moment i have thought that i would collapse and die, but i didn't, i am still here. I think the problem, for me, is that dizziness still scares the hell out of me and if i could just accept that it is ok and won't hurt me then i would be on the mend with that one. I really hope that you are feeling better now and that the dizziness has passed off a bit, and the palpatations. Had a bad day with them myself today, perhaps it's the weather at the moment, my heart rate all morning was 120 and i was all shaky like jelly, not nice at all. Let us know how you are doing Bead, hope it improves for you soon hun.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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