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Here's a Question for All of You (Read 441105 times)
jothenurse
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Re: Here's a Question for All of You
Reply #180 - Nov 29th, 2010, 4:34am
 
I bumped this up because I would like to see this thread going again.  RLR - would you be able to review the last few responses and guide us with this?
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Re: Here's a Question for All of You
Reply #181 - Nov 30th, 2010, 8:48pm
 
This was a reply from RLR posted on another thread that I think is brilliant and relevant to this discussion:

Now if you're unwilling to take the time to sit yourselves down to work toward gaining the proper understanding concerning these palpitations and their true nature, then there is nothing I can do to help you. It is felt by some that it's more safe to believe them to be dangerous and simply use this forum for reassurance from irrational fears. Well I am considered to be advanced in age and growing older as the years pass since this forum was created. I won't be around here forever.

You need to face yourselves, not some voice from a forum, and produce the discipline necessary to gain a firm understanding about these palpitation events. Now I have spoken ad-nauseum in hundreds of threads about the true nature of these events and how they are entirely dissociated from absolutely any form of pathological arrhythmia whatsoever. I have explained in detail what causes your palpitation events to occur and the furthest extent of their inability to harm you in any way. Yet, if you look at the threads, there is most always a brief acknowledgement of my posting that generally states to the effect "Ah, I see now Dr. Rane. Thank you so much for your post and I realize now that these things are harmless and cannot do anything serious to me. I'm much better now and your explanation makes perfect sense. . . .. . I just have this one other question and I swear I'll never ask again. Can these palpitations cause me to suddenly die? I know you talked about the regular kind of palpitations but these ones I'm having now are different. They go thump - bump - bump instead of the other way around. I've been reading that if you get those kind you're going to drop dead and now it has me scared. I don't want to leave my family or children. Please help me."

This example depicts the compelling nature of anxiety and its ability to avoid the truth in favor of irrational fear. The affected individual feels an urgent and driven need to persist in their beliefs because the moment they cease such vigilence will be the very opportunity for tragedy to strike. It's anaolgous to the old entertainers who used to marvel us by balancing spinning plates atop of long sticks. They must continually run back and forth to plates that are beginning to slow down and wobble and keep all them running perfectly in order to prevent them from falling and shattering. That is the life of a person stricken with, and controlled by, anxiety.

All of you need to be aware that anxiety is not a clinical illness or disease, but a state of mind. It is produced by thinking patterns which have been firmly established by repetition in the absence of logic and adherence to reality. It means that you believe in things that are not possible and you guide your lives accordingly because regardless of the facts to the contrary, danger is close and vigilence must be maintained. It is the elective striving to project into the future to prevent any negative course of action by altering circumstances in the present. It is the belief that total preparedness is the only method by which life can proceed safely and orderly in such a fashion that no mistakes are made. This pattern even spills over into forging these patterns into the lives of those around the person with anxiety. It is felt certain that they cannot do it right and something will certainly faulter if the anxiety-stricken individual does not step in and bear the responsibility of preparing life for them or instructing them along the way. There must be order and it must be timely and well in advance and preparation for life's oncoming daily events, covering any base necessary to avoid alteration. It is the fervent attempt to control life itself and defuse any changes from occurring. There is no spontanaiety, but rigid planning to preclude any unforseen and unexpected problem.

Life isn't forged of egg-shells, but rather granite.
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Jennifer
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Re: Here's a Question for All of You
Reply #182 - Dec 7th, 2010, 7:34am
 
I don't mean to sound redundant here, but it is no doubt a control issue for me, too.  I won't ride in airplanes because I have a need to be the one flying it.  I can't ride on roller coasters because I don't like the idea a machine is keeping me on the track.  I feel if I were in control I could divert something horrible from happening.  I feel someone else, or a machine in the case of a roller coaster or the like, wouldn't know when or how to divert a situation to keep me safe.  It sounds rather silly when I write that, but it is so true.  
When it comes to the body, I feel I am also at its mercy -- like a pilot or a machine -- and it can do whatever it wants, whenever it wants and not keep me safe.  If I could control my body, be in the driver's seat with it, I could make sure everything goes the way I want it to, and I would not have horrible heart sensations, hyperventilation, anxiety, and so forth.  If my body was a plane or a roller coaster, I feel my brain is my pilot or machine controlling everything and it doesn't care what I have to say or think to keep things comfortable, and I am just on the outside looking in, feeling out of control of everything that is going on inside of me.    So, driving for me is the only time I feel in control, a need I have so if something were to go wrong I would know it and try and fix it.  No doubt a possible illusion, for I am sure we are more in control of our bodies than I realize.  But, I was taught to drive a car, but I was never taught how to control my body.  
I think all this is very interesting.  I never thought about driving vs.  heart disease and my thoughts about it.  I just wonder why I feel I have to be in control.  Even my own doctor kind of lectured me about how we can't control everything, things are going to happen -- almost like someone somewhere is turning a great wheel and it will land on my name from time to time.  Somethings won't be as severe as others, but things in life will happen (I mean, I ended up with a rare benign third adrenal paraganglioma for crying out loud -- my name came up for that out of all things!) whether we like them or not.  I understand that, but I don't like it, and you can imagine my anxiety level when I left the office that day.  Cheesy  
Funny, though, I guess it boils down to the fact I can handle outside things if I know what is going on (when I am driving I feel I know what is going on), but it's the unknown inside stuff that will send me to a corner crying like a baby out of severe fear.  
Where does this come from?
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Re: Here's a Question for All of You
Reply #183 - Dec 9th, 2010, 8:09am
 
Jennifer, hi, I am also a Jennifer (Jen to most)

agree with you to an extent but for me its also about history.

I have been retracing my years of having therapy (a condition of being one is to have much oneself).

Something I came up with in my notes to myself, had been the idea that I am "Too" open and honest. I remember discussing this with my therapist and how in close relationships I tell all. Its hard to explain what I mean by this, but I guess what I am saying is I also have a tendency to do all the work in relationships...I am not enigmatic in any way. However, at some point I felt as though I wanted to keep more of myself back, not hidden, but back.

I did for a while, and it really helped me feel more in control, not of others, but of me and what happened to me.

My friends would describe me as warm and/or friendly, and I liked that. But in truth I was overly, psychologically giving. I was an open book. It then for me, becomes about be empowered.

Not making much sense I know but in short, I give over my self power quite easily in close relationships. I stopped doing that and had to have a sticker by my bed saying "Dont give yourself away today" ...when I moved I forgot to put it back up and coincidently slid back to my old habits.

The reason I am like this, I believe relates to my history: youngest of four children, dominating father, passive yet strong mother, older sibling rivalry esp sister...(believe me she was very envious of me her little sister) a lot of how things were incited my behaviour, which was there as a defence at the time and helped. Its hard when we grow up to let go of those defences.

I have read many, many books on psychotherapy and on the theory, but by far the nest book in understanding families and how they work and how you work, is a little book with John Cleese the comedian, and a therapist "Families and how to Survive Them"

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Re: Here's a Question for All of You
Reply #184 - May 21st, 2011, 5:25am
 
I thought I would revive this thread because it helped a lot of us, and as Jason has returned, you may see how we worked things out for ourselves
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Re: Here's a Question for All of You
Reply #185 - Jun 20th, 2011, 10:12am
 
Hi all,

I'm new here but followed this thread with interest and have just re-read the entire thing.

I got the impression that you were really getting somewhere and it helped me over an anxious period just beginning to address things.

What happened as it seemed to be going so well and then just ground to a halt? Did it help you guys at all?

Chris
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Re: Here's a Question for All of You
Reply #186 - Jun 20th, 2011, 4:36pm
 
Okay, I want all of you to go to the front page of the forum where the statistics concerning this thread are depicted. It has received 185 responses, but an overwhelming 5544 persons have viewed it. This disparity appears in no other thread on this forum. How can it be that the unique content of this thread attracts so many viewers and yet so little response?

This thread constitutes the most critical juncture of this forum and yet it receives the least actual interaction. What I'm suggesting here is that you devote time to discovering why. I certainly know the answer, but this thread is not about my guidance or participation. This is entirely your thread and what has taken place here thus far is the very looking glass that each of you must examine, for it holds within its parameters a very special key.

If you seek change, if you seek your life back, free from the confines imposed by the physical impositions of anxiety such as benign heart palpitations, then this thread will eventually take you to that place where I cannot lead you.

In order to succeed, you will only be able to proceed using strategies that are presently unfamiliar or uncomfortable to you. Think of this thread as a continuum, on one end the cognitive strategies which have culminated into the predicament you now face and on the other end is the undiscovered pathway to getting your life back.

This thread is where you lead the way, where you must work to find the answers which will possess the measure of actual change. It represents the doorway through which people with anxiety of the type being demonstrated in the members and guests to the forum resist with great apprehension. It's the very reason that this thread has resulted in 5,544 viewers and only 185 responses of a very peculiar nature.

If you were actually making progress in the true sense, this thread would appear at the top of the forum daily. At present, members or guests randomly go in search of it to bring it current once again.

Isn't there something compelling about this phenomenon to you? Is it merely serendipity that this single thread, which depicts content far and away different from any other thread on the forum, should behave statistically in such a eerily predictable manner?

What holds you from properly engaging in this thread is what holds you from reaching your intended destination. This single thread is the measurement of change being constituted within this forum.

When you're ready, this thread will cease disappearing into the background and will become the most engaging and informative thread you've ever encountered. It is, however, up to you. It's place in this forum on any given day will tell you how you're doing as a group and individually.

It's critical to note the latest response which has brought the thread to the surface once again. What you seek from this thread cannot be derived externally, for it will only yield expectation on such terms. Look among the threads of the posting and you will see my point here.

So once again, we find the doorway briefly visible. Whether it recedes one again is entirely up to all of you.

Best regards and Good Health
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martinpetersen
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Re: Here's a Question for All of You
Reply #187 - Jun 21st, 2011, 7:38am
 
It sure is an interesting thread which, no doubt, has given many people a better insight in what "anxiety" is. Told in a metaphoric way with the "do you drive a car"-question. So far, so good.

My benign palps don't show very often these days, and when they do, I don't care much. Maybe I'm cured. Maybe I have "adressed" or "faced" the anxiety, as you often have put it, RLR.
And yet those very two expressions ("adress"/"face" the anxiety) have also irritated me quite a bit. For what does that excactly imply?
I had quite an extended period in which I certainly believed that my palps were due to some kind of "anxiety", and I certainly (intellectually) "knew" that this wasn't caused by some disease in my heart (due to two medical tests - ecg and all ...).
But still with that knowledge present, palps came and went. Sometimes quite bothering/scaring.
(By the way: it sometimes feel as if cause and effect connect the other way around, so that palpitations cause anxiety. Could that be true?)

So even if I could say to myself: Yes, the whole thing started in a stressy time when my stepfather died, and it went to its peak in a situation where I lived alone in a foreign, big city for two months and had to sort of recreate an everyday life, a new rythm of living. Even with that knowledge present in a very concious level - I think Smiley   - the palps didn't cease to come.

But maybe you need to be very patient and realize that EVEN when you have "adressed" or "faced" your anxiety, it can take quite a long time for your heart, sorry; vagus nerve Smiley to stop teasing you.

I wish it could be less of a riddle what "adressing" or "facing" your anxiety actually implies.

Anyway, thanks for many good thoughts, which I believe has done their job in curing me.
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Re: Here's a Question for All of You
Reply #188 - Jun 21st, 2011, 10:41am
 
For me my anxiety started when I was 20. I'm 23 now. I've always been a pretty anxious person. I used to be very shy at school and I wasn't really that popular. As I grew up I become more confident but still wasn't really a people person. I had a small group of close friends but found making long-term friends was very difficult.

I went through quite a stressful time in my late teens, moving away from the area I grew up, going to (and dropping out of) university, starting my first permanent job, and burning the candle at both ends! Not to mention money problems for a number of years. I guess it all took its toll.

I know now that my ectopic beats are benign, but in the time it took to gain that reassurance, anxiety had already set in and I was feeling all sorts. Every time I got over one symptom, another would kick up. Funnily enough, I'd stop worrying about the first and it would go away!

The palps always stayed with me though, sometimes bad, sometimes not so bad. Despite all the reassurance, I still find them incredibly uncomfortable and the odd one or two in a day will set me off and keep me tense all day, despite knowing deep down there is nothing to worry about.

I think it's the discomfort more than anything. If you're out and trying to enjoy yourself with friends, to have one of these is incredibly disconcerting.

I'm a lot better than I used to be but what confuses me more than anything and what I still get wound up about is that they are so random! Sometimes after drinking I'll get them and I can simply dismiss it as being the result of alcohol, but sometimes they will just come on randomly and this is what makes me feel weird.

If there was a particular trigger that I could locate, I could then single that out and avoid it or take steps to prevent the trigger being pushed so to speak.

Unfortunately I am unable to do this which suggests to me that there is no one particular trigger, but more a combination of things which led to me simply burning out.

At 23 years old I don't really like going to bed early, I'm always on the go, but one week when I experimented a bit by going to bed early every night, that week I don't remember having any palps at all which is a first for me, but when I went back to my "normal" routine, lo and behold they returned as usual.
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Re: Here's a Question for All of You
Reply #189 - Jun 21st, 2011, 8:26pm
 
I'm sure this thread receives little attention because most of us, myself included at times, come to this site for reassurance.  Looking at the root cause of things is really different than looking for assurance!

I've been working on this for a little while......if it takes a doctor's assurance to tell me I am ok, I will be forever and always running to the doctor.  I'm now taking note of any symptoms, writing them down along with any pertinent information, and planning to wait a couple of weeks before going to the doctor.  Almost without exception, the mysterious symptom has come and gone well within the span of a couple of weeks.  A few have persisted, and make the "list" when I go to see my doctor again.

This has helped me be less reliant on an external source for my reassurance and instead pushed me to be observant of my own body.  It's been good!

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Re: Here's a Question for All of You
Reply #190 - Jun 22nd, 2011, 4:13am
 
I agree that most people come to the site to seek reassurance from RLR and the other members that nothing is physically wrong with them. However, if this kind of reassurance worked for people like you and I, why then did we not just accept our doctors' opinion in the first place?

With all due respect to RLR, who does a superb job here, he has not actually physically examined us so what makes us think that the reassurance from RLR would work any better than reassurance from our GP or cardiologist?

From a personal point of view I found I needed reassurance, felt better for a while, but then it started to wear off and I needed more reassurance. Clearly therefore as RLR and others were saying, the underlying issue had not been resolved.

That's why this thread has so many views - basically, people are coming here for reassurance but when they see a potential cure or route to recovery, they swarm around it.

Having said that, few people are willing to actually become actively involved and participate in the discussion because naturally people are unwilling to discuss what they fear. They try to bury it, pretend that everything is ok until the next time anxiety rears it's ugly head.
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Re: Here's a Question for All of You
Reply #191 - Jun 22nd, 2011, 6:56am
 
RLR....I apologize as I am one of those that just view rather than get engaged.  I have had Palpitations for 5 years now and have gone through the ups and downs that anxiety has caused...even to the point of agoraphobia. It is not a fun road to take at all and I think most people are exhausted and have given up hope.  I know I have...at least until I found this website.  I have been able to travel and do things I havent been able to do in the past.  Mine all started when I had 2 of my sisters and my mother all diagnosed with Brugada's disease and they all had difibrilators put in.  I had all of the test and was found not to have it but part of me believes maybe they could have missed something.  At this same time I changed jobs, had my first baby and bought my first home!  What I think I have learned from you is that I need to accept 100%!!!....not 99% that these things are the vagus nerve stimulation.  If I do this then I will not be bothered by them and they will reduce significantly in numbers, intensity and then I will at the same time reduce all of the other anxiety symptoms that have manifested because of the palpitations and the anxiety they have caused me.  I am to the point where I am really tired of living with anxiety so I think I am closer now than ever to making that so called jump into the fear pit and trust that nothing bad will ever come from these darn things.  I not only have to make that jump...but I have to stay in that pit and never look back.   We will see if I have the courage to do so very soon : )  Thanks for all of the help RLR.
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Re: Here's a Question for All of You
Reply #192 - Jun 23rd, 2011, 1:14pm
 
I have been reading through this thread a little everyday. It is amazing feeling as little lights come on as you realize your own "weakness" with these issues.

I have begun to feel a sense of peace and control returning to my life. The fear is subsiding and I have also found my anxiety lowering as well. This car accident analogy has been amazing. You see I am very much a "car guy". I race cars on a regular basis. I have and continue to compete in rally and road races. The thought of a fatal accident never crosses my mind during a race. I have this focus and am in this place where it is just me and the car and the track. So how did I get to this point in my life where heart palpitations and anxiety and GERD have gotten so much control and power over my daily life???

Now I am beginning to figure how to take back these feelings. The palpitations are still there, but I am certainly feeling them a lot less. Maybe I am just becoming less aware of them or maybe less concerned over them is a better term.

I can shoot down a straight at 140 mph ,brake down to 25 and hit a turn with tires squealing, smoke billowing, surrounded by a dozen cars and don't think twice. I little fluttering in my chest and I instantly think I am about to die. Why??

I find peace behind the wheel of a car, now I am realizing that I can find that peace everywhere else to. I hope to be able to become clearer in my thoughts as I read more of this thread. Thank you all for helping with these insights.
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Re: Here's a Question for All of You
Reply #193 - Jun 23rd, 2011, 2:20pm
 
Dodger wrote on Jun 23rd, 2011, 1:14pm:
I have been reading through this thread a little everyday. It is amazing feeling as little lights come on as you realize your own "weakness" with these issues.

I have begun to feel a sense of peace and control returning to my life. The fear is subsiding and I have also found my anxiety lowering as well. This car accident analogy has been amazing. You see I am very much a "car guy". I race cars on a regular basis. I have and continue to compete in rally and road races. The thought of a fatal accident never crosses my mind during a race. I have this focus and am in this place where it is just me and the car and the track. So how did I get to this point in my life where heart palpitations and anxiety and GERD have gotten so much control and power over my daily life???

Now I am beginning to figure how to take back these feelings. The palpitations are still there, but I am certainly feeling them a lot less. Maybe I am just becoming less aware of them or maybe less concerned over them is a better term.

I can shoot down a straight at 140 mph ,brake down to 25 and hit a turn with tires squealing, smoke billowing, surrounded by a dozen cars and don't think twice. I little fluttering in my chest and I instantly think I am about to die. Why??

I find peace behind the wheel of a car, now I am realizing that I can find that peace everywhere else to. I hope to be able to become clearer in my thoughts as I read more of this thread. Thank you all for helping with these insights.


Great post Dodger and I agree 100%. I've been reading this thread for a while now as really I just stumbled across it. I was a little disappointed to have "missed the boat" so to speak when it was really going last year as it seemed an enlightening discussion so it's nice to get a few new responses.

I agree it's odd that we seem to take risks every day in our lives without thinking twice about them, but as you say we get these beats and despite our doctors saying we're fine, the cardiologist saying we're fine, RLR saying we're fine, every piece of every document on the subject saying we're fine, we still panic and fear these darned beats every day!

I'd like to think I'm a very rational person. I also like to think I'm smart enough to work things out and base my thoughts on the evidence rather than some suspicion. And yet this is different somehow.

That's the big question I guess!

But I agree with you, since reading this thread I've taken a new view on my health anxiety as a whole and I seem a bit calmer. There is of course a long road ahead, a lot of work to be done to undo the tension and stress I've felt over the last three years, but we have to start somewhere and this is as good a place as any!

Chris
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Re: Here's a Question for All of You
Reply #194 - Jun 23rd, 2011, 4:07pm
 
Now we're beginning to head in the right direction.

This thread doesn't require my guidance in any real sense because the revelations which you will discover through direct participation will be entirely derived by those who engage it on their own terms. In other words, how you react to this thread will speak volumes and you should pay very careful attention to this element. If you are one of the some 5400 or so persons who merely read the thread but cannot become involved, then you need to ask yourself why. If you participate but can't seem to pierce the veil which leads to an area being avoided, then you need to ask yourself why. If you don't know why, post the question and seek responses from those who have stepped across that barrier.

You must draw the collective issues out into the open within the safety of anonymity and become unafraid that doing so will cause some loss of control over the circumstances. Realize that this fear is what causes many persons to develop significant anxiety, for they exert avoidance of issues which generate a perceived threat to their well-being in some regard. The result for many is a form of indentured servitude where control over daily regimen is induced, often accompanied by rituals in many forms necessary to keep life in balance. An unidentifiable unrest seems to prevail and it is this lack of identity or definition which produces the overwhelming fear.

It becomes a life with near total energy divested in prevention of circumstances that are unreal and imaginary, leaving little to no energy devoted to one's aspirations, goals and sense of accomplishment. You have the same capacity as you've always held, but it is being depleted daily by attempting to exert control over factors that are irrational in form and only exist in the realm of unwarranted speculation.

You must expose the barriers which rob you of the energy necessary to take back your lives. You must challenge their existence and demand proof of any speculative consequence. You must come to realize that the origin of your entire difficulty is based in your patterns of life.

Fears must be fed to remain alive. It is this compelling drive which imprisons persons with anxiety. Remember that anxiety is not a disorder at all, but rather simply a state of mind. If it becomes habitual, it produces a constant state of unrest. People with anxiety find themselves consistently being drawn to elements which strengthen and intensify their fears. If they experience a palpitation event, they most often feel compelled to peer into the farthest range of tragic outcome, to read the ending of the book before understanding its content, to try their best to predict the outcome no matter how far-fetched, subsequently developing apprehension of such an outcome as though it were somehow magically made real by their unregulated thought process.

All of this and more is what you must question and seek to determine within yourselves. With the help of others experiencing similar difficulties, you must use this thread to draw forth and explore these expressions and put them to the challenge. You must avoid looking externally for guidance or reassurance and realize that it has been within you all along. You've simply lost faith in your abilities in this regard.

If you want to truly be free of difficulty, including that associated with benign palpitations, then you must step up to the plate among one another and take the journey together. I'll be around and I'll certainly be examining the passages generated on the thread, but I can't take you across the threshold. You must do this yourself.

I can tell you that what awaits you is what you've thought to be lost and irretrievable.

Best regards and Good Health

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