RLR
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You misunderstood my statement regarding the reference to All-Experts and other forums, including this one. My comments were not in reference to Dr. Richardson at all, but directed at your own perceptions about information you obtain from the internet, which would include this forum as well.
As for always having to fight for your health, I'm constrained to point out that such a statement is quite short-sighted. Firstly, a 4th cranial nerve palsy is an extremely common finding for the average opthalmologist or optometrist, resulting in mild diplopia, or double vision, and is easily correctable. Your "stomach problem" is nothing more than a functional disorder that is stress-induced and does not constitute organic pathology of any type, again a very common finding.
In fact, I've seen nothing within the content of your postings to suggest that you've had to fight for good health at all, but rather paradoxically argue against it. I see no evidence to suggest that the medical community has erred whatsoever and in general, you seem to resent the fact that physicians refuse to yield to your own interpretations and requests for specific testing. You persist in the belief that you are correct in your presumptions regarding your health and are blaming the medical community for obstructing your attempts to obtain reassurance to counteract self-induced irrational fears. The actual reason for such resentment is more likely grounded in the contention that the reality associated with the medical community's findings is damaging to your strivings.
It's very critical to examine your statements regarding intellectual status and critical thinking skills. In general Ritchie, overt notions such as these more often constitute a defensive mechanism and generally lend insight into why you may be "sick." Understand that when a person manifests difficulty in coping with certain aspects of their life, there are several possible consequences depending upon the individual's perspective at the time. The avoidance of confronting certain beliefs which arise can often establish alternate approaches to daily life, some of which can be highly counter-productive.
The premise of being critically ill and fragile may well support implications of a suitable excuse to avoid certain aspects of life where you otherwise feel incompetent and a failure. It's very critical for you to understand that such condemnation is always self-inflicted and being measured against standards which are grossly irrational. In other words, perceived inabilities and lack of success is mitigated by the premise that you are "sick" and therefore prevented from demonstrating competency. Such compensatory rationales are rarely examined through introspection and if the original emotional offending emotional perspectives are intense enough, can actually result in a distorted commencement of daily life practices for the remainder of an individual's life in some instances.
The ability to cogitate "fast and deep" bears no logical reference to your claims of illness or disease but rather speaks very largely to the likely origin and basis for your difficulties. I suggest that you consider the points being discussed here, for it may well represent an opportunity for you to perform self-examination in the absence of overt defensive mechanisms designed to avoid it. In order to do so, it would be highly beneficial and recommended that you seek out the assistance of a professional trained and experienced in dealing with this type of problem, which may interest you to know is highly common and very treatable.
Best regards,
Rutheford Rane, MD (ret.)
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