Hey Folks,

I know its been a long time since my last post. But believe it or not I had been doing wonderfully better. My anxiety was completely under control as my mind grasped the fact that 99% of my palpitations were being caused by my GERD and other stomach issues. Having had every test under the sun, from CT scans to echo-cardiograms and the like including an extended hospital stay all turned up the some thing. Nothing was wrong with me, except anxiety.

Flash forward to 11-19-2012. My 16 year old daughter passed away in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. She had been feeling poorly all day but nothing that set off any alarms. We tucked her into bed and said goodnight. The next morning my wife got up and heard my daughters alarm going of and went in to turn it off and found that she had passed away in the night. The Medical Examiner has said that it could take up to 6 months before we have all of the answers that has caused this nightmare to visit my family.

Right on cue the anxiety and palpitations have started again, but this time I feel in more control. I know that it is stress, lack of sleep and the situation that is contributing to these events and that as before they will pass.

I did not come back on here to post for sympathy or what not, but to hopefully help somebody else to get thru and realize that they are ok, and will get past this as well. My soul aches for the loss of my wonderful girl in my life, but with faith, family and friends I feel that I will get thru this. I don't think I will ever get over her loss ,but hope to be able to get thru it and move past this darkness.

I wish you all the best and that this post and my thoughts and prayers will help somebody as a lot of you on here have helped me.

Thank you

Thank you sir for your kind word and thoughts. Your input, advice and guidance has been a big help in my finding the peace of mind that I had found before.

I appreciate this forum, you and the people on it very much

Peace

hi Dodger

tears in my eyes.
I have a daughter almost your age.
I wish I could find the words to ease your pain.... but i can't
I wish you and your family all the strength and love to pull through this

Thanks folks , I really appreciate the thoughts and prayers.

This has truly been the darkest nightmare of my life. But I keep practicing all of the things I learned from folks on here to deal with the anxiety and just make thru each day. Sometimes its hour by hour and others it day by day. With the palpitations and anxiety back its obvious they are stress related so I just have to keep going with the faith that this will pass as well.

I miss her so much and my soul literally aches for the loss of her in my life.

Thank you again

Words cannot express how very sorry I am for your loss.

I wish I could say more to comfort you...

Hang in there, you have my many many prayers.

Thank for all of the thought and concerns. I'm having a rough couple of days lately. Its has been a month since my daughter passed and I miss her so much. I have had some not so bad days and even had some decent times. But then I look for her or want to talk to her and it all crashes back down. Some days it feels like the tears wont ever stop and the pain is overwhelming.

I have been having some anxiety attacks lately to. As you folks I was having anxiety over my health and feared that I would die with no warning and such. I had gotten control back of my mind and was making headway. Then my 16 year old daughter passes away with no warning or reason that I can understand and I can feel it all starting again.

I feel I am in better control than before but I just cant comprehend getting thru. Like today I am having chest pains. I know its heart burn because I am not eating right or sleeping right and for that matter not sleeping well. I imagine it is just a knot of grief in my chest. I am just so sad most time.

I am trying to get out of the house some more. I am also getting motivated to start looking for a new job as  have been un employed since October. Not anxiety there actually had bone spurs in both ankles and since I work in the Restaurant business its kind of hard to stand on your feet for 10 hours a day when you can barely stand on your feet. So I am looking for new career that doesn't require so much standing.

Sorry to ramble so much, trying not to sound like I am whining. Hope you all have a wonderful Holiday. Hug your loved ones especially your children.

Thank you

hi Dodger

Sorry to ramble so much, trying not to sound like I am whining

My friend. You are not whining. You are going through a period and process in your life, no parent should/would ever be allowed to go through

I respect your strength to wish us a Wonderful Holiday and to hug our loved ones and espescially our children.

thx man.
respect !

hi Dodger

beautiful dream. I know what you mean by So you can interpret this any way you like as I know how I am interpreting it.
some believe , some dont
I will be very honest to you. and very open. me myself, am not raised to believe in any God. I often think about it. Is there a God, Heaven, and so on? I dont know. I HOPE there is. Cause it all would feel so useless than.
I really do hope you saw your "angel" the other night and that you could see her doing what she did best. its comforting that she was helping those kids. ( awful incident again in Newtown..I really dont get how out of your mind you must be to kill children of that age)???
What pains me that God needs your daughter and those kids in heaven? I know we all live in borrowed time but, pff its hard.

Keep the faith my friend !!