Tonight was a rough night. I woke up with feelings of pain in my chest and my left hand was asleep and hurt. I was waking up from a nightmare so I was already breathing hard and confused when I woke up.

I know it is anxiety and things are returning to normal. I simply refuse to let the fear control me again. Reading thru all of the posts in this thread in particular always helps to. The sad thing is that all of this fear of having a heart attack or just dropping dead, I actually don't even know how to tell if I was actually having a heart attack.

Now that I think about it maybe this is where some of my anxiety comes from. After suffering from GERD and heartburn so much I think I fear having a heart attack and just saying " nope its just heartburn on GERD" and then it really being a heart problem. Oh well its 4am and I am rambling hope you all are well. Going to try and go back to sleep.

RLR stated a while ago..."The result for many is a form of indentured servitude where control over daily regimen is induced, often accompanied by rituals in many forms necessary to keep life in balance. An unidentifiable unrest seems to prevail and it is this lack of identity or definition which produces the overwhelming fear.

It becomes a life with near total energy divested in prevention of circumstances that are unreal and imaginary, leaving little to no energy devoted to one's aspirations, goals and sense of accomplishment. You have the same capacity as you've always held, but it is being depleted daily by attempting to exert control over factors that are irrational in form and only exist in the realm of unwarranted speculation."

I believe this to be the key!!!  I have tried this before but obviously not 100%.  This is what I seem to have the most trouble with...the 100% part!  I dont know how to get 100% confident in my abilities and my health.  It is very frustrating and very tiring....I am tired every day and its because of what RLR says, that I have given all my energy in to the effort of avoiding what I perceive as imminent death if I dont stay on guard!

So what are the steps to getting past this??? I have read many books from Claire Weekes and others and even though I feel like I am trying to heal myself...I am still suffering!

So I dont understand where I go wrong???

George,

I like your example of the boat tied to the docks.

Part of my problem is with this fighting my mind and drifting peacefully. My "attacks" are getting farther and farther apart. I believe I have been doing a lot better with the anxiety and constant worry. I have been really good with the just letting myself drift.

But for example today. I have been under a bunch of stress. This past Saturday I was laid off with no notice and obviously under stress. But I have had no palpitations. I took my daughter to work and had a sharp grab in my chest and I got a little dizzy. Lasted all of two seconds but it was enough to trigger the anxiety. So now I recognize the signs and try not to make the situation worse with more anxiety or panic. This is where I feel I need to learn to let my mind drift, but I also feel the need to "fight" with myself. I know nothing is wrong and just keep shouting at myself in my mind to stop. Kind of like slapping the panic ridden person on TV to bring them back to their senses.

Well thats my day today and some more thoughts on the subject. Hope you all are well and talk soon

Dodger wrote on Jun 26^th, 2012, 6:36am:


When you say you know nothing is wrong, are you certain that you actually do believe this to be true? I'm not trying to condescend and tell you how you're feeling or what your state of mind is, but I recall many times stating the very same thing but then I'd have a panic attack because I had some chest pains.

Truly believing with conviction that these are harmless, and simply convincing yourself that you do believe, are entirely different. When I feel a palpitation nowadays, which is hardly ever, I forget it happend within seconds of the event. Whereas before I'd have to pause for a moment and check that my heart continued to beat. The way I see it is if my heart stops, I'm not going to be conscious long enough to worry anyway.

I've also come completely out of the mindset that my heart is in danger too, which I believe is in a large part related to exercising. I've taken up strength training and do regular walking (more like power walking). I don't know what my heart rate is anymore, resting or otherwise. I tend to just exercise to whatever level I feel I can and don't pay attention to how fast my heart is going. I don't bother figuring out my maximum heart rate or try to keep it to any given rate. I never have done in the past and I am under the impression that my heart is certainly going to out-do me in any test of endurance. I think I'd collapse long before my heart gave up!

I've also put on a lot of weight and am much physically stronger than I was before. However, being severely underweight was an unrelated concern of mine that only served to worsen my anxiety.

George

bigcountry wrote on Jun 28^th, 2012, 8:33am:


Hi bigcountry,

Thanks for your kind words

When I first started exercising, I did so with the belief that if I lowered my resting heart rate, then I'd also be able to lower the amount my heart rate increases with anxiety. My thoughts at the time were along the lines of:

1. Current lowest resting heart rate recorded: ~70 (I assumed this was what my heart was supposed to going with no anxiety)
2. "Anxious" heart rate: 90-100
3. Begin exercise and lower resting heart rate by ~10 bmp
4. Anxious heart rate will then only be 80-90
5. Maybe lower heart rate by 15 or more bmp in time, lowering "anxious heart rate" to low 80s-high 70s.

I actually have no clue whether or not this "approach" would have worked. I've been strength training now for maybe 9 months and I've gained lots of strength. However, I don't know as a matter of fact how this has affected my heart's strength or resting rate because I no longer bother to check it and obviously have no way of measuring the actual strength of it anyway. I do know that I was a 130lb weakling who couldn't do a single pushup, and now I'm approx. 185lbs and am able to do a few sets of pullups/chinups and maybe 30 pushups.

Anyway, that much is irrelevant. I will say this, however; that being stronger than you're naturally meant to be, feels better than being average or weaker. I suppose that goes without saying, or perhaps I've got some insecurities as far as this is concerned. I don't consider myself to be a strong person, I've always been on the slender side and haven't got a frame built for holding lots of muscle, but I'm stronger than I ever have been and am gaining all the time, which actually seems to boost my confidence and self-belief that I actually can achieve something and given a little persistence and dedication, results start showing.

I also do lots of walking. I have always walked at a fast pace, near maximum walking speed really and it's really good exercise for the cardiovascular system. It's also good for the legs too, if you do it often. Before I started, I could jog (not run) for maybe 20 seconds before I was exhausted and had to stop, heart rate pounding at 180 bmp. Nowadays, having never done any running or jogging, I notice that if I ever run or jog at any point, I find it effortless to keep it up.

Anyway, I'm rambling on without much reason to this post so I'll end here until I've got something more interesting to add.

Thanks,

George.

I think its not that easy and simple too just say."well its all anxiety related or vagus related" When you are 35 years healthy as can be and over night it goes wrong I think its normal that you start to think and possibly worry whats wrong. or what went wrong. I'm no doctor, I will never be one, but i'm not a dummy either. I ve studied and read alot about mental and physical health and because of that , only after a year of asking my doctors to do an astrup cause I was convinced that if it wasnt my heart that i should have chronic  hyperventilation , they finaly did what I asked. And behold. I had huge chronic levels of hyperventilation. The same story with my costochondritis. I kept having a lot of problems and pain in my chest. my doc said.. anxiety.. I said. could be, but not everything in life is anxiety..people do get sick..  and behold after another half year of rope pulling I finaly was allowed to go to the specialist ( its how it works in my country) and when i came to the hospital the man who did the diagnostics..wanted to exclude a tumor.. Did everything turned out ok, than he also believed costochondritis to cause my pain.
than last year I got a problem with my vision. double vision. even that double vision was put aside as.. "anxiety or nothing out of the ordinary".  hmm hmm..  in the end I didnt let go and behold I have a (congenital) 4 nerve problem from by brain to one of my eye muscles.

So ..you stated.. we know our body..
yes..i do believe we do. I also believe that anxiety aggrevates a lot of symptoms and let you feel crazy symptoms in your body. I also believe that if you FEEL that something is not going well in your body, and you FEEL bad physicaly, and doctors dont find an answer or cause for this symptoms and you come back for them cause they didnt leave you easily are bombarded with anxiety or hypochondriac. Now this might be true, cause offcourse you are worried when you feel worse. you should be a young healthy human , at least that what my doc says,but i keep answering but I feel like crap.. 24 hours a day.

What I cant understand is that why do people think that accepting something is just anxiety is the cure. the only thing that it accomplish is that you DEAL better with your symptoms. and if ALL your symptoms come from anxiety , in the end you may feel better. But before starting to believe that its all anxiety you have to have some actual proof it IS anxiety why you have symptoms.

As in my story I had to basicaly diagnoze myself the past years cause if I had believed I had anxiety than i didnt know I had.. costochondritis, I had CHV, I had a long term or congenital 4 nerve problem and so on. now all these things arent deadly diseases and I never realy was convinced i had one but because i had no answer anything remains possible imo .  I just felt anxiety ALONE wasnt the answer. I now visit someone who specializes in anxiety related issues..and after a year even she is still puzzled if I have anxiety or not. She really said to me. in 20 years doing this I never had anyone in front of me with that much weird symptoms. She doesnt believe either its ALL ANXIETY.  Does it play a part ? oh hell yess.. i really believe also.

So if my latest symptoms.. body burning.. like a sunburn .. the same feeling comes up when i rub over my skin.  heavy legs.. easily red skin when i lean on my knees with my elbows or when I lean again something with my back.. my skin easily reddens. 24 hours a day i have this all over my body... then i would like to have more explanation why nothing is wrong or why this is anxiety if it suits so many other disorders out there. ( neuropathic, MS, due to malignant cancer, fibromyalgia, hypothyroid, liver/kidney and so on) .

The only way to think its nothing serious or anxiety is by exclusion or by a good explanation. I find when you some times ask for this or double check cause there so many symptoms and you want to be as clearly as you can than i feel that it almost feel like I offended someone because I'm careful about my body and I want to know whats wrong cause I have 2 children to take care of.
And its almost people do like disease doesnt exist? Sorry.but it shouldnt come as a shock that a lot of people do in fact have an illness ( minor or severe)
Believe me when I say I WANT THIS TO BE ANXIETY.. but how do you know??
Thats what asked here . I found a plausible explanation about my palpitations and spasms. DO I know its absolutely benign?  NO, but the explanation I got was sufficient to believe I wouldnt die from it that easily   Now I have another symptom that isnt met with an answer by my doc so  I tried to find my answer by asking here to RLR. What else can I do on this forum? We all have questions and keep asking new ones if something comes up.
And still , I can take silent hints, it feels that I shouldnt keep asking my question cause I dont listen and dont believe that I might have anxiety or nothing serious is going on? that hurts !
Like I said I really want it to be anxiety but past experience has made me a bit cautious.
Its all I ask..please explain to me why my body burn symptoms over my whole body pain intensity 3 a 4 on scale of 10) a bit of heavy and slightly aching joints (wrist..knee leg and upperarm, back) rubbing anything against my skin gives a reaction of sunburn. you have to really rub it a bit..not only a slightes touch..then no problem. redding skin when pressing on it or leaning is all anxiety or stress?

If i know it IS anxiety alone..then yes..you can start to program yourself it is nothing serious. as long as you dont know, you will always wonder what will never be any good for your anxiety levels.
not wondering about it, is an utopia, people do think and want to survive.

I know it all can sound a bit harsch when just reading the plain words here that i write.. but thats no way near what I want to make clear

I'm just struggling to hang in there with my symptoms and when you feel help lines dissappearing and you still get worse. its not a picknick !  

its 24 hours and 7 days a week that I have this burning. Offcourse when extremley occupied I experience less problems.. but the moment I sit down, lay down its there..